Dr. Seuss and the Bailout

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Dr. Seuss and the bailout plan

By Bryan Fischer

Uncle Sam & Congress-man
By Joy Hubbard, Bryan Fischer and Debbie Fischer, with apologies to Dr. Seuss

That Uncle Sam!
That Congress-man!
We do not like your bailout plan!
We do not like your taxing plan!
Should we pay so stocks don't tank?
Should we pay for Barney Frank?
We should not pay so stocks won't tank.
We should not pay for greedy banks.
We do not like your bailout plan,
We should not pay it, Congress-man.
Mr. Paulson made a call
For a plan to soak us all.
Could you, would you Mr. Bush,
Could you, would you push, push, push?
We should not pay you, Mr. Bush,
So Mae won't fall upon her tush.
We should not pay you, AIG,
Though you ask on bended knee.
We should not pay you, Freddie Mac,
Just to lighten up your pack.
We should not pay for any bank,
Even one that's in the tank.
We should not pay for umpteen years
Just because the market fears.
We do not like your bailout plan.
We do not like it, Uncle Sam.
We should not pay you, Mr. Raines,
You, the source of all our pains.
Franklin Raines don't give a hoot,
He got a golden parachute.
We should not pay you, Mr. Dodd,
You should not get a big fat wad.
We should not pay you, Speaker Nan,
When you have dumped us in the can.
We should not pay this big old tax
For people who ignored the facts.
You said the rules were just a joke
And now the banks are just flat broke.
They loaned to those who cannot pay
And backed it up with Fannie Mae.
You set it up for them to fail,
Then said to us, "Your turn to bail!"
Could you, would you, Street of Wall,
Support a plan to soak us all?
Our kids will pay for ninety years
Just to calm your self-made fears.
We do not like your bailout plan,
We do not like it, Uncle Sam.
We should not pay for all those acts
When you ignored the credit facts.
The CRA made this bind
Now we get kicked in the behind.
Sub-prime loans — what a crock!
And you wonder why we balk!
You made some new accounting laws
And we got bit by shark-like jaws.
Mark to market — what a joke!
Now our banks begin to croak.
Sarbanes-Oxley gored us all
And now you make us take the fall.
We do not like your bailout plan,
We do not like it, Congress-man.
We do not like your bailout plan.
We do not like it, Uncle Sam.
You loaded it with lots of pork,
And cranked us all with lots of torque.
Arrows, rum and big fast cars
Why not add a trip to Mars?
We pay our debts with little thanks,
Now we're paying foreign banks!
We pay our debts and you don't care —
You make us pay — that's hardly fair!
The Golden State is next in line,
The bucks they want are yours and mine.
You think our money grows on trees?
You have us begging on our knees.
And now we see through mire and murk
That the plan won't even work.
Adam Smith says "Not, Not, Not!"
While Karl Marx just laughs a lot.
Could you, would you Messiah Man,
Go along with this bad plan?
Could you, would you, John McCain
Go along with all this pain?
It's sad your votes we can't ignore,
So what to do, November 4?

© Bryan Fischer


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