Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Having Their Pizza and Eating It Too...

• A leftist argues about the fairest way to slice a pizza.
• A radical leftist demands that they must do the slicing and screams at anyone telling them how to slice it.
• A communist leftist cuts a larger slice for themselves and shoots anyone who complains.
• A Nazi leftist wears a uniform to lunch and refuses to give a slice to undesirables.
• A sophisticated leftist argues about the shape and thickness of the pizza, the quality of the ingredients, and the proper etiquette for eating one’s slice.
• A union leftist complains about the requirement for the pizza worker to actually make an edible pizza at all.
• A community-organizer leftist gets everyone to bang their forks on the table while waiting.
• A guilt-baiting leftist hopes you’ll choke on your slice.
• A race-baiting leftist wants to separate the toppings.
• A diversity leftist demands that you eat all the toppings, even if you don’t like anchovies.
• A reparations leftists wants an addition slice, because his great-great-great-grandma didn’t get one.
• A passivist leftist will let a bully steal another kid’s slice… to avoid trouble.
• A gun-control leftist wants to slice the pizza without a knife but rather with a registered, dulled roller-cutter stored in a locked drawer.
• A green leftist whines about artificial ingredients and the oven.
• A busy-body leftist wants high-fat pizza banned.
• A legalize-it leftist wants a high-fat slice for medicinal purposes.
• A vegetarian leftist wants to keep meat toppings off the pizza… then argues about keeping the cheese.
• A hippie leftist doesn’t want to pay for their slice, man.
• A tree-hugger leftists wants you to send their slice right up.
• An journalist leftist demands a health department white-glove inspection… unless a leftist made the pizza, whereupon they dismiss complaints of rat droppings as right-wing paranoia.
• An academic leftist writes about the stupidity of the whole pizza… thing.
• A blogger leftist links to this post, rants that I advocate taking slices from the poor and giving them to the rich, and adds a PayPal link to buy them pizza.
• An entrepreneur just makes another pizza… and another… in a variety of sizes, slice patterns, ingredients, and prices.
If they sell well, he hires people to make even more pizzas.
• A Democrat considers every second pizza… tax.

(Of course, you’ll have some to add.)

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